While I can't stop time from passing (who really wants to anyway?) I do know certain life occasions are inevitable - both celebrations and sadness. As a mom of
6 wonderful children, I know that a time is approaching that will watch my fledglings venture off on their own. So, all you veteran empty-nesters, I have a question for you. Is there such a thing as preparing for an empty nest?
While that is a rhetorical question of sorts, I thought it might be a good time for us to support one another in advice, lessons learned, and the celebrate the joys of parenthood. I'll be the first to say my kids are my life. I have not been without them on daily basis since they were born. With homeschooling comes the joys of seeing them grow and myself growing with them. To be honest, I don't understand how parents look forward to school starting to be rid of their children. Frankly, I'm quite the opposite. I love being around my crew!
BABY STEPS
First, I wholeheartedly look forward to what God has in store for each of my younguns. However, I also know the blunt reality that they won't be with me everyday. In jest, I often tell them I'll replace each one of them with an animal. They've went from toddlin' cuties to being my best friends. So, you can imagine how I sort of dread the day they're gone. Many of you, I know, can relate, and that's why I'm writing.
Over the years, I told each of my older boy and girl that I've never been a mother of boy (or girl) before, so bear with me as I'm learning too - that I'll make mistakes and hopefully be a better mother because of it. Inevitably, I never stop learning about being a mother until the day I die. When my children were young, I read a line of thinking that went like this..."Picture yourself guiding them on a balance beam while holding your hand. Their trust forms when
they choose to let go of your hand. Holding onto them holds them back, and letting go to soon is can cause them to stumble. They know when to let go."
GROWING UP
Obviously, I'm already learning what it feels like for them to trickle out of my nest. My oldest two are done with school and are gone most of the day with work. I read a book a few years back by Joel Salatin called "Folks, This Ain't Normal" that I highly recommend (do purchase from local or borrow from the library - skip the giants, k?). While Joel owns a wonderful farm and knows oodles that blows the mind, he also impressed me that his children were able to save about $20K before they were 20 years old. That is amazing!
As a person who is animate about getting completely
out of debt and staying that way, I'm trying to teach my children the same. Amazingly enough, they've already beat that record Joel 's kids achieved and are learning so many life lessons along the way. That alone makes letting go easier. I am reassured they'll be taken care of and they know how to work hard. while at the same time be fulfilled by following God's plan for their lives.
SAVORING
What is more, I aim to savor and embrace my personal motto, "no regrets". When I rise in the early hours of the morning, I can hear my family sleeping as I stand outside their doors. In that moment I'm preparing for an empty nest. I stop to say a praise and lift a prayer for them. Then, I begin my day a couple hours early so I can be with them for breakfast and Bible study when they rise. It's these times I tuck in my heart for I know the time is limited.
With each passing year, my time with them has went from wiping pudgy cheeks to enjoying conversation on daily topics or upcoming events. What a joy to see them blooming and changing. And, it's ever amazing how each of my children are their own person. Yes, they show favoritism in behavior like my husband and I, but they are definitely someone God placed in my life for a reason.
In addition, I am blessed beyond words to be able to work at home amidst our homeschooling time. That also affords me the time to drop what I'm doing to embrace a teachable moment or head off on a long walk.
However, honestly I find myself caught up in the daily grind at times that I don't make enough time. Then, I wake up and realize a day just passed by and I missed out. When we open our eyes each morning that is a gift, as well as when our family is healthy and happy. Embrace them, tell them you love them, and most of all,
make time.
UNPLUG
Moreover, in our digital world, it's so easy to let an hour slip by with screens begging for our attention. We are not ones to spend hours in from of a TV, but we do watch occasional videos that are either on DVD or stored places. It's great for a cabin fever break for sure. However, we cut out several days a week to unplug. That allows time for game time and we love it! My littlest whispered into my ear one night as I was putting her to bed after a long sigh, "we need more family game nights". Nuff said.
In addition, to the kids being gone, it also allows part of the preparing for an empty nest to include more time for other adventures. In the last couple of years, I've taught myself to play the ukulele. While I already know how to play piano and teach my kids the same, I've always wanted to learn many more instruments, including a string instrument that is portable. Back a few years ago I practiced guitar, but just never had enough time. So, this time I went little. I must admit that I play pretty good for someone who is in mid-forties having fun. {{wink, wink}} Maybe one day I'll show you. Plus, my husband, JC, and I have more time for each other. That alone is a prize after devoting
soooo many years to our focus on raising our children.
LET'S DISH
Enough about my little flock. I'm sure there is sage advice out there. You folks have either have already run this race or are in it yourselves. Or, maybe you're still in young family mode and are hoping to glean too. Either way, I'm eager to have a chat that embraces the joys of parenting children. Likewise, invite your spouse chime in or even your elders.
God gave use one another to lift each other in spirit, to build each other up. Additionally, let's share this post so that others can glean too.
Up next, it's time to clean house and dig into my stash. Head
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